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The Fictorians Make a Good Point

Posted by Charles Gray on December 6, 2013

Mary over at the Fictorians makes a very good point in her post: The Friends who Stayed

I didn’t want to be a hobby writer. I didn’t want to be that person who only writes when he feels like it, or who puts writing at the bottom of her to-do list and wonders why she never gets around to it. I had to carve out dedicated writing time to focus on my goals. That meant I had a lot less time for role playing and marathon video-game sessions and movie-watching parties and fandom.

Yes, I lost friends.

Friends who felt I wasn’t giving enough to the friendship. Friends who complained that I wasn’t available enough, that I was too hard to get ahold of. Friends who thought I wasn’t any fun any more. Friends who didn’t understand when six-hour visits turned to one-hour visits.

This happens to anyone who tries to enter the world of freelance work or who is self-employed. Many people don’t understand that if you’re working for yourself, you don’t get vacation time. Or rather you do, but you don’t get paid for it and you’re expending the most precious commodity of all– the number of free minutes and hours you have in the day, a number that remains the same for princes and paupers alike.

This isn’t a career for the people looking for an easy out. I’ve spent more time on my books than I ever did working, and sending a freelance article out can be an exercise in misery wondering if I did everything I could to make it as good as it could possibly be.  Every rejection is a stab to the heart– and more importantly,  the self-confidence that every writer depends on.

So you will lose some friends and others will just fall out of contact.  But remember and treasure the ones who stay by your side.



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